Historically, marriage counseling was a last resort for those who were close to getting a divorce. That mentality has since changed due to the effectiveness of the process. The range of patients vary from couples who will soon be married, those starting a family, couples trying to manage martial issues to those recovering their marriage.
The most common questions patients ask prior to the process are, “does marriage counseling really help?” and “if we see a counselor, will it save our marriage?” It is healthy to have such questions about the counseling process and important to understand the advantages and disadvantages before starting with a professional. The following details the pros and cons of marriage counseling.
Marriage experts agree that to maintain a healthy relationship, it’s important for couples to have a fresh, non-judgmental and objective perspective with regards to their issues. Although consulting family and friends for advice is helpful, you often receive biased opinions which do not help the issues. This is where marriage counseling is effective. The following are the best benefits for seeing a marriage professional:
Create a Positive Attitude
One of the greatest advantages of marital counseling is the actual concept of asking for assistance. Many couples attempt to work through their issues and go so deep that it is too late to save the marriage. Those seeking a marriage professional typically become more positive when asking for help with their issues.
Critical Communication and Conflict Resolution
The counselor will enlighten you on different relationship tips that can be used throughout your daily routine. The goal of each counseling session is to improve the marriage slightly using these tips. Also, you will be reminded as to how imperative maintaining communication is with improving your marriage. Without communication, the therapy will not be effective.
Discussion of the Primary Issues
During the counseling process, you will be focused on discussing your issues in an organized manner. This will help dig deep into the primary problems and the factors that may have caused them. Since you will be there with your spouse, they will understand your feelings and can help work to correct those factors.
Help See Clear Results
Many couples are skeptical about the idea of marriage counseling at first. However, once engulfed in the process, they see how much each session helps them to realize shortcomings. In addition to tips from a professional, you will also gain a clear picture of your marriage after the counseling process is complete. This excites most couples and motivates them to work harder inside and outside of each session.
Identification of Strengths and Weaknesses
During each counseling session, the counselor will identify and discuss the strengths and weaknesses of your marriage. This will give you both insight as to where the focus needs to be and make you appreciate one another for highlighting the strengths of your marriage.
When your issues are discussed by an expert outsider, you will have a completely different perspective on the situation. Also, you will be more hopeful about your marriage and more determined to work on the issues to improve the situation. Looking from the outside-in often helps couples see the factors and issues in their relationship more clearly.
Receiving Unbiased Advice
One of the primary reasons for visiting a counselor is you will receive an unbiased opinion on your marriage from a trained professional. The counselor provides tips and additional insight to help work through your problems.
The advantages of marriage counseling far outweigh the disadvantages. Although marriage counseling works in most instances, there is no guarantee that it is the solution to all problems. Many couples expect the marriage counselor to be a miracle worker so they leave the counselor to do all the work and do not participate. There is no quick fix for any situation and both parties need to participate for the counseling to be effective.
Sometimes, when couples discuss their problems, past issues are highlighted which could harm the relationship. However, in order to proceed with a healthy relationship, these issues need to be addressed. Unfortunately, sometimes the spouse is not able to get past the issue. On the other hand, some couples need to work-out problems on their own and visiting a professional causes greater confusion for them. It’s true that sometimes marriage counseling is not exactly what a trouble marriage needs.
Marriages are not easy and problems do occur. If you are having issues and it seems like there are no outlets, don’t give up. Seek a marriage counselor that’s the right fit for you and your partner. If you are both really willing to work for the marriage, a counselor could be the answer.
Filed Under: Counseling, Counselor, TherapyTagged With: counseling, counselor, couples, marriage, therapist
Would you like a career with a stable and steady income, guaranteed days off and a five-day workweek? Then being a real estate agent is NOT the job for you. Real estate is an unpredictable industry where the stakes are high. You’re responsible for the biggest transaction of someone’s life, so there is a lot of pressure not to screw up. On the flip side, there’s nothing more rewarding than helping someone find their dream home, especially in a competitive housing market. If you’re thinking about becoming a real estate agent, consider the following:
You’re your own boss
Pro: You have control over your own hours and the freedom of time and movement. You’re not chained to a desk all day and there’s no time card to punch. It can feel very liberating. I tend to work from home, which gives me more time to spend with my family.
>>Visit Our Jobs Page
Con: You’re working when everyone else is off. Most of your customers have 9-to-5 jobs, so they’ll likely sign a contract or do a walkthrough in the evening. And don’t forget those weekend open house tours. Planning a Saturday brunch with your friend? Forget it. Your new bestie is your client, especially on the weekends.
You’re the expert
Pro: As a real estate agent you know the ins and outs of your community. You can recite neighborhood comps in your sleep. You know what areas have the highest-ranking schools. And you have more specific knowledge, like whether that newly listed bungalow is in a flood plain, which would require costlier insurance. Your clients can rely on you to be their trusted advisor because you’re the expert.
Con: You’re being trusted with someone’s life savings. The stakes are high and even a small error can cost your client thousands of dollars. For example, if you put an offer on a home and then miss a deadline for an inspection contingency, your client could be contractually obliged to buy the house or lose their earnest money if they decide to walk away.
You wear a lot of hats
Pro: As an agent, you’re asked to do a lot of things that may fall outside your purview. You’re an educator, a counselor, a babysitter, a financial advisor and a life coach. Real estate purchases and sales are often prompted by life changes, such as marriage or divorce. Buying or selling a home is an emotional experience, so it’s your job to counsel your clients and guide them in the right direction. The job requires a personality that is flexible and adaptable to the needs of the customer. As an agent, you gain life skills, such as multitasking and learning how to work with different personality types. And there’s nothing more rewarding than helping someone finally find the home they’ve always wanted.
Con: You put out a lot of fires. Problems come up at the last minute, and you have to think and act quickly. The day before a closing, my colleague took his customers for a final walkthrough on their new home only to find water gushing down the hardwood stairs. (Apparently a plumber had left the water running.) When last-minute issues come up, your clients may panic. But you can’t panic, too. You have to be the stable presence that allays their fears and solves problems. Real estate is a stressful business, so if you can’t solve problems — without having a meltdown of your own — then it’s probably not the right job for you.
Real estate is dynamic
Pro: When the market is booming, all is great in the world. Real estate feels like the best job ever. You may be so flush with cash that you’re finding $100 bills in old jacket pockets. You’re busy and not worried about where the next lead is coming from.
Con: The employment outlook, the stock market and the time of year all impact the housing market. During the slow season, the job starts to feel like a grind. Agents are all scrambling for the same clients and the competition is cutthroat. The job requires someone who can adapt quickly to a changing market.